


Music of My Heart

by ByTheAngell (SomeLittleInfamy)



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Crushes, Jace Wayland Plays the Piano, Love Confessions, M/M, POV Simon Lewis, Romantic Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-10
Updated: 2020-08-10
Packaged: 2021-03-06 00:07:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,506
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25824127
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SomeLittleInfamy/pseuds/ByTheAngell
Summary: Some nights Simon is convinced that the entirety of the Hunter’s Moon picks up on the way his gaze can’t help but land on Jace Herondale over and over, his eyes drawn to him no matter where he tries to train them elsewhere. Jace, who remains entirely unaware for two month’s worth of shows that every word Simon sings is for him.
Relationships: Simon Lewis/Jace Wayland
Comments: 12
Kudos: 108





	Music of My Heart

**Author's Note:**

> This prompt courtesy of some collaborative idea-tossing between Zia, Em, Jenna, and I, including Simon writing songs for Jace, Jace attempting to write lyrics for Simon, and Jace composing Simon something instead.

Simon has a new set of songs to play every other week at the Hunter’s Moon now. The guitar chords are a little basic, sure, but that isn’t the important part. The important part is the fact that he’s never felt this inspired to write before, and the songs seem to flow out of him at this point. 

A few people ask him where this sudden burst of inspiration comes from, and every time he shrugs and says that’s just how it works sometimes, there isn’t always a reason for it. But there is a reason, and he knows it, and the more he writes these new lyrics the more he’s certain that people are catching on to just what that reason is. Or, more accurately, _who_. 

Clary knows, and he thinks Maia and Isabelle are starting to pick up on it, too. In fact, some nights Simon is convinced that the entirety of the Hunter’s Moon picks up on the way his gaze can’t help but land on Jace Herondale over and over, his eyes drawn to him no matter where he tries to train them elsewhere. Jace, who remains entirely unaware for two month’s worth of shows that every word Simon sings is for him.

\---

Simon doesn’t mean to admit his feelings the way that he does. He always imagined it’d be something elegant, like the perfect lyric that Jace would just _know_ is meant for him, or some grand gesture Simon might work up to like a mid-set confession or a bold kiss one of the many times Jace comes over and congratulates him on ‘bringing down the house’ during an acoustic set that 90% of the bar actively ignored. Simon often daydreams, and sometimes actually dreams, of all the ways he might finally break down and tell Jace that he likes him. 

The only thing stopping him at this point is a fear that Jace already _knows_ \- because how could he _not_ at this point - and just doesn’t like Simon back. It’s the only logical explanation for why he hasn’t said anything yet, or reacted in any way, shape, or form to what is now crossing the border from endearing to pathetic pining and adoration on Simon’s part. 

What actually happens is that one night, after weeks of increasingly obvious lyrics, Jace comes up to Simon while he talks with Maia after one of his shows and says: “You know, you should write a song about me one of these days.” 

Simon gapes. He can’t help it. He just stands there and _gapes_ while Clary, who just came up beside him, starts to laugh. 

“Is he joking?” Maia asks Clary, before turning to Jace. “You’re joking, right?” 

“What?” Jace says indignantly, frowning. “You don’t think people would like a song about me?” 

Clary and Maia share a look, and Simon has to give them credit for not telling Jace what is probably the worst kept secret in the entire Shadow World, but it hardly matters because Simon just can’t take it anymore. 

“They’re _all_ about you, you oblivious idiot!” Simon practically shouts.

“What?” Jace says, but there’s uncertainty behind the word now. “They’re… what?” 

Jace sounds like a surprised owl, if owls said ‘what’ instead of ‘who’. 

“ ‘Golden boy’? ‘The _colors_ of your eyes’? ‘ _You said you’d let me kill you but I’d never let you die for me’?!_ ” Simon quotes the lyrics of various songs from the past two months in order of increasing obviousness. 

Simon can almost see the pieces falling into place behind Jace’s wide eyes. Well, this isn’t at all how he planned on telling him, but considering he meant for Jace to realize it long before now he’s mostly relieved to have it out of the way. 

That is, until Jace repeats, “You wrote all of those for me?” 

Simon should know that Jace is just stalling while his brain catches up with this sudden revelation. He should just nod, and wait, and not say anything else until Jace can at least give Simon a hint, one way or the other, how he feels about him. 

What Simon actually does is shake his head, sigh, and mutter “By the Angel, I’m in love with an idiot.” 

It takes Simon a second to realize what he said but when he does any exasperation he felt toward Jace a moment ago is now focused inward. 

“I didn’t… I meant…” Simon stutters, panicking. Glancing back at his guitar that is sitting well out of reach by the small stage area he wonders how fast he can pack it up and run. Fuck it, he can get a new guitar. “I have to go.” 

Simon’s out the back door before anyone can stop him, eternally thankful for both his vampire speed and his inability to blush. He doesn’t know why it’s such a big deal - over half of the songs are love songs, after all, so Jace would’ve assumed eventually. But there’s a big difference between inferred feelings and an outright declaration of love, and Simon crossed that line without even knowing if Jace could humor the idea of _liking_ Simon, let alone anything more. 

Simon’s phone rings in his pocket and he slows. He can ignore it, go home, and lock the door to his apartment before any of them could get close to catching up with him. He can easily avoid them for a few days, a full week until he’s due to play his next set at the bar, not that he can ever show his face around-

His phone rings again, breaking Simon out of his spiraling thoughts. Finally pulling it out of his pocket Simon freezes when he sees Jace’s name under his missed calls. Twice. He expected Clary, or maybe even Maia, to check up on him, but not _him_. The lights up the screen for a third time while he stands there before he finally answers. 

“I’m sorry,” Simon says before Jace has the chance to even realize Simon answered this time. “Can we please pretend I never said any of that, and we can just stay friends and nothing has to change?” 

“We could, but that’d make it pretty weird when I ask you out then, wouldn’t it?”

“What?” Simon asks, not sure he heard that right. 

“I thought _‘what?’_ was my line tonight?” Jace says, and Simon can _hear_ the smug smirk through his tone. The mental image of it has Simon swooning a bit, and… curse Jace Herondale and his infuriating ability to be so damn suave all the time. 

“There is a new movie out I wanted to see…” Simon manages in a desperate attempt to salvage what little self-respect he has left tonight. 

“Alright,” Jace agrees without even asking which movie - and knowing Simon’s taste in movies that’s a _gamble_ for Jace. He must really be serious about this. “It’s a date.” 

Jace hangs up and Simon looks down at his phone in disbelief. 

It’s a date. 

\---

Even in the dim lighting of the Hunter’s Moon Simon can see the way Jace blushes at some of his songs now that he’s _really_ listening to the lyrics, paying enough attention to catch the meaning behind them. Simon’s particularly fond of the look Jace gets at the ‘you’d let me kill you’ line because remembering that time Simon fed on Jace only leads to newer, more pleasant memories of his lips leaving much more pleasant marks in that same tender spot. 

Simon doesn’t stop writing new songs, either. In fact, they only seem to grow sappier the longer they date. He’s taken to carrying a small notepad with him all the time to scribble down lyrics and chords as they come to him, which is what he’s doing one rainy Saturday afternoon when Jace wanders over to the sofa with something in his hands. 

Simon stops writing and looks up in question when Jace hesitates. 

“Here,” Jace says, though he’s still clutching the paper and makes no motion to actually hand it over yet. “I know I’m hardly a lyricist or anything, but after all the songs you wrote for me, I thought you deserved one, too. Even if it’s a crappy one.” 

Simon beams. “If it’s from you, then it’s perfect,” Simon promises, taking the paper Jace finally holds out for him. He notices the way Jace worries his bottom lip and fidgets with the hem of his shirt - Jace is nervous. It takes until Simon gets to the chorus to realize why, when his eyes land on three words that would make his heart stop, if it weren’t perpetually stopped. 

_I think my heart always knew_

_I loved you_

_Before my mind caught up_

_Not a moment too soon_

_I love you_

Jace never said _those words_ to him, even though Simon let them slip months ago. He didn’t mind - they weren’t even dating yet, of course Simon hadn’t expected Jace to jump right to falling in love, and that was fine. Neither of them brought it back up after that, and Simon hadn’t said it again. Jace knew, hell, everyone knew, so he didn’t feel the need to repeat it and make it feel like he was pushing things too fast. Simon was totally fine waiting until Jace was ready. _If_ Jace was ever ready. Because as good as things were going lately Simon never allowed himself to get too comfortable, never wanted to assume, just in case. 

Simon forces himself to read past the chorus to the rest of the song before looking back up at Jace with a small smile on his face. 

“I love you, too,” Simon says, holding the paper carefully in his left hand and reaching his right up to cup Jace’s face and pull him in for a kiss. When Jace pulls away with a sigh of relief Simon quirks an eyebrow. “Did you think there was any chance I didn’t?” Simon gives a little laugh as if the idea is absurd. 

Jace gives a half-hearted shrug. “You hadn’t said it again after that first time, so…” 

Simon frowns. He didn’t keep saying it so Jace wouldn’t feel pressured to say it back. He never meant to give the impression he didn’t feel it anymore. 

“I just didn’t want to make things weird. We’d just started dating, after all. But you should know that I absolutely, without a doubt, have loved you every single day since then,” Simon tells him. He wants to make sure Jace doesn’t doubt that now, or ever again. 

“I thought I got to be the sappy one today,” Jace pouts with a pointed glance down at the paper in Simon’s hand.

Simon hums, feigning consideration and some very serious internal debate before nodding. “Alright. You get today, as long as I get the other 364.” 

Jace only shakes his head. “What am I going to do with you?” 

Simon, feeling particularly emboldened by Jace’s declaration of love, smirks. “You can do whatever you want with me.” 

Jace opens his mouth, likely about to reply with some sarcastic quip, but thinks better of it and tugs Simon down the hallway toward the bedroom instead. 

“I love you,” Jace says aloud for the first time just before they fall onto the bed. It’s the first of many times Simon hears it that day, and he’s never going to get tired of it.

\---

The rest of the week Simon’s more secretive than usual about his newest song, doing most of the work while he knows Jace will be out and giving vague answers when Jace asks him about it. “It’s a surprise,” is all he’ll say. When his set rolls around Saturday Jace is in the crowd like always, but this time he’s closer to the front than he usually is, by Simon’s request. Simon wants to see every second of his reaction when he plays tonight. 

“I’m starting off with a new one,” Simon says. “I didn’t write it, but I couldn’t imagine depriving the world of hearing it, either. I hope the original lyricist doesn’t mind.” 

Simon begins to play a melody he wrote to go with Jace’s lyrics. By the first line, Jace recognizes it for what it is, and-- okay, maybe this is a mistake because Simon swears he can see the hint of tears in Jace’s eyes by the chorus, and yeah he was going for the sweet surprise factor but he hadn’t quite anticipated this. By some small miracle, Simon makes it through the song without his voice breaking or forgetting any of the chords, and now he’s _really_ questioning his planning here because since it’s the first song he now has to make it through four more before he can talk to Jace. 

If anyone notices him rushing through the songs faster than usual, or specifically picking shorter ones that absolutely weren’t meant for tonight’s set, they don’t call him on it. 

“So?” Simon asks before the guitar is even off his shoulder. Jace is already waiting for him, grinning from ear to ear. 

“I can’t believe you sang it. It’s… I mean, I’m not a writer. We both know it isn’t up to your normal standards, and you didn’t even blame the lyrics on me,” Jace points out. 

“Okay,” Simon starts, placing the now-free guitar on its stand. “One, of course I sang it, I love it. Two, we both know I don’t have _standards_ , I’m not like, Bruce Springsteen up here or anything. Three, something told me you wouldn’t want that sort of ‘here’s Jace’s song’ spotlight, but if I was wrong-” 

Jace shakes his head quickly. “No, ‘anonymous lyricist’ is definitely preferable. Required, even.” 

Jace laughs, and Simon joins him. 

“I wanted it to be a surprise, but I hope you don’t mind,” Simon says. 

“Not at all. It was pretty cool, actually. I loved it,” Jace admits. “Does that mean you’re going to put the next one to music, too?” Jace asks, before realizing what he said. 

“Next one, eh?” Simon asks, grinning at the implication of more to come. “I absolutely will. And the one after that, and the one after that, and the-” Jace stops him with a firm kiss which Simon admirably continues to mumble into for another second or two before giving in, the mumbles becoming a very soft moan instead before they pull away and Jace gives him a push back toward the stage. 

Simon wonders how short he can make his second set, too. 

\---

Since Simon’s apartment is quickly becoming ‘their’ apartment, something neither of them has specifically brought up yet and are just sort of letting _happen_ , it’s rare that Simon ends up at the Institute for any prolonged amounts of time. Sometimes he comes by to bring Jace food on days he knows his boyfriend is busy and likely working straight through any necessary breakfast, lunch, and/or dinner breaks, and sometimes he hangs around at the end of the day if they have plans but Jace is running late, just so they can walk together. 

So when Jace tells him that he has something he wants to show him that he has to come to the Institute for, Simon is more than a little curious. 

They agree to meet there in the early morning hours - on the whole, things are quieter around then. The night patrols are just getting back and debriefing, the daytime ones not up yet if they can help it. When Simon gets there Jace doesn’t waste any time taking Simon’s hand and leading him down a few corridors Simon’s positive he’s never been in before. 

Simon isn’t sure what he expects. Maybe something weapons-related, or maybe one of the books with vampire lore they occasionally discuss that Simon mentioned more than once wanting to read one of these days? Whatever he might expect, it isn’t the large room with a grand piano situated in it. Simon stills in the doorway for a moment as Jace continues forward, hesitating only slightly by the bench before sitting down on it. 

“I’ve been playing a bit more lately,” Jace says. “Composing. And I wanted you to hear this.” Jace considers those words for a moment, frowning as if they aren’t what he meant to say, before correcting himself. “I wrote this for you.” 

Simon moves further into the room and goes to one of the chairs, imagining he’ll want to be able to properly relax and listen instead of hovering or pacing, both of which are things he’d definitely end up doing if he remains standing. 

Jace starts to play, and as cliche as it sounds, it feels like the rest of the world outside this room melts away beyond the two of them and these notes. 

It might not be his favorite thing, but Simon occasionally listens to classical music. He more frequently listens to pop or alt-rock with keyboards featured, since that’s what he plays himself when he has the inspiration for it. But this… Simon can’t remember the last time something entirely instrumental made him feel so strongly. Maybe he’s biased since it _is_ Jace and it _is_ for him, but Simon suspects that anyone listening in would feel the same wave of emotions. 

It’s almost overwhelming, watching Jace play; his fingers glide easily over the keys to pull notes into the air that are so light, so joyful, and yet hold so much weight at the same time… and Simon knows that trying to describe them even just in his own mind isn’t doing the music any of the justice it deserves, so he stops trying and closes his own eyes instead, just listening. He sinks into the steady rhythms, feels his lips twitch up in a smile at trills of high notes, holds a breath he doesn’t really breathe when they trail off, suspended, before picking back up in that steady sway again. 

Simon almost forgets where he is and what he’s doing there for a few moments after the song ends, eyes still closed, clinging to the emotion that hangs in the air. When he opens them again he sees Jace watching him intently, waiting for Simon to speak first. 

Except Simon _can’t_ speak. He doesn’t know what to say because nothing feels like a response worthy of what he just heard. Too much silence passes and Jace, growing a bit self-conscious about it, decides to speak first anyway. 

“Sorry it doesn’t have lyrics… I know I’m not as good with words as you are,” Jace says. “No matter how much you keep humoring my awful lyrics by performing them.” 

Simon shakes his head. “It doesn't need lyrics,” Simon tells him, his voice still quiet, processing. “It’s beautiful. It’s like I could feel every note, I-” and for someone who is supposed to be good with words, they sure are failing him just then. “-it’s beautiful,” he repeats instead. 

Jace smiles and gives a small shrug. “It’s what came to me while thinking of you… what else could it be?”

Simon feels a phantom stutter of his non-beating heart at those words. He doesn’t know why - Jace has called him beautiful before, but there’s still so much raw emotion from the music that makes the confession feel that much more intimate. 

Simon wonders if this is how Jace feels hearing a new song that Simon wrote, knowing it’s for him. He hopes it is. 

“For someone who’s apparently ‘not good with words’, you sure know how to make a boy swoon,” Simon points out. “Hey, I bet if we combined forces we could be a musical force to be reckoned with!” 

Jace frowns. “You know I’m no good at that pop stuff,” Jace points out. 

“The same way you’re ‘no good with words’?” Simon reminds him with a sly smile. 

“It’s different when it’s you,” Jace says. “It’s… _easier_ when it’s you. I don’t know why,” Jace admits. 

It’s impossibly endearing, Simon thinks, watching the way Jace’s features scrunch slightly at the confession. This isn’t the putting-on-a-show-suave Jace that everyone else gets, this is a Jace comfortable enough to just say what comes to mind with no reservations, a side reserved just for Simon that he cherishes more and more each day he gets to witness it. 

“I know why,” Simon tells him, standing up and walking over to sit on the bench beside him. “Everything’s easier for me when it’s you, too. And it’s because I never feel like I have to _try_ too hard, or change to fit you better. I feel like… like I can just _be_ , and it’s enough.” 

“It’s more than enough,” Jace points out. 

“Again with the words,” Simon says in feigned exasperation, unable to help himself from leaning in and giving Jace a quick, chaste kiss. They break away and Jace smiles. And Simon smiles back.

They kiss again, longer this time, something soft and gentle and perfect. 

Perfect because it’s them. Perfect because it’s easy. 

And yeah, Simon silently agrees, it’s definitely more than enough. 

**Author's Note:**

> (Find me on [Tumblr](http://bytheangell.tumblr.com) and also on [Twitter](http://www.twitter.com/By_The_Angell)! <3 )


End file.
